I want to write about parents,
who are those people, who were carrying about me, who were accepting so many, way too many crazy things I did in my small life:
when I flew with a parachute in high school alone, when I went alone to Crimea, went to expeditions at the end of the world, sometimes to abstract Hilbert spaces, from where some people may not return back, when I was copying fotos for hours from books…
There were many hard moments with them, but despite of everything people.

Sometimes, in the grey world the black-white fotos from my childhood make my life so colourful.

Я давно не писала про то, как всё течет и изменяется вокруг.
Особенно про Париж.
Этот город самый городской город, в котором я жила (возможно еще потому что перед этим это были Потсдам, Утрехт и Пальма де Майорка с Монтевидео на берегу океана и лошадьми, расхаживающими по улицам).
Но тут в Париже не только асфальт и одно дерево на весь район, совсем нет, как может показаться с первого взгляда.
Во Франции (хотя я по сути больше всего времени провела в Париже) есть культ и культура парков.
Про это есть замечательный фильм на arte www.arte.tv/fr/videos/045728-004-A/naturopolis-paris
Сеть парков, который можно один за другим посетить вот:
channel Snt.Martin park et jardin de Villemin,
park Buttes Chaumont
park close Foundation Loui Vuitton.

The first impressions of a country are the most important.
Just when I came to Moscow waiting on a passport control, I saw a girl waiting for customers to check her passport.
She was staying in a que before me and she was waiting for like 1 minute customers to call her to come. But they were not.
People on a back were mumbling something about lost time etc. Then after 2 minutes a woman from customer-police servise
in a very annoyed voise loudly said
«Ну чё, ещё долго будете там стоять?»
Untranslatable jargon, which is approximately «Ok, will you wait for long there?»
***
Then I went to a military city, where my parents are living.
I came to my music school and there I could sit just for hours to observe people, to listen to children playing and singing.
This white-red-rainbow noise of sounds makes me dizzy, also maybe because of the memories of all years spent in this place, full of music, children tradegy «I forgot to prepare a lesson»,
happinness of succidining to go forward in sound or happiness of just being with other children, who also like music, almost as you.
***
Moscow, Snt-Petersburg. Cities full of new emotions I never felt anywhere in the world.

«You enter in a small room, where there are a lot of books, papers lying around, a lamp on a table is spreading calm light and it looks that special smell from paper of different years makes you to feel as if you would be entering not a room but the book itself» —
this is how I feel sometimes, when I enter my lab in Ecole Polytechnique. There is a special order in everything there: people with syndrome of superclean apartment could not have spent there even a minute, cause everything, books, chemicals, computers, stones lies together.
I spent almost one year of going back and forward from Paris, Moscow and Berlin in order to make it possible, Russian girl to work as a researcher in Ecole Polytechnique.

And I am asking «Why, why it is so hard for scientists to get all these stupid visas, as if they would be doing something really bad?!»
Why not to help them from the non-existing organisation «NobordersForScientists»?

Today French embassy already second time did not give me visa.
Though I am officially working in France since November for lon %)
Probably Russian girls are indeed the most dangerous people in the world!
#noborders #nowalls

Why all «good» people cannot come together and do something with «bad» people?

I was born in Russia. My relatives were sent to Siberia just because they were Germans, and others because they were part of German family. Others were repressed during Stalin times even further east, where there was nothing except fields.
Now when I studied in Russia and Germany and these two countries played huuuge role in my life, I see some differences between them: Germany tries to learn lessons from the history, while Russian government doesn't: why in Russia government continues to kill people? Why polices takes the best of the best to prison? Why journalists are killed and scientists cannot continue working always in calm?
Maybe because the resistance makes people awake and because we do everything in Russia not «for» but «despite»?
Yes.

credit of fotografii to https://vk.com/tebya_zovyt

There are two main stereotypes, which I meet often:

1. All Russian girls are princesses.
I always didn't like princesses.
In the childhood i wanted to be a boy. (because in 90's you had more chances to become a pilot in Russia). And I also saw many girls growing around me with a dream to become mathematicians, cosmonautes and they really did in fact!

2. All German people are too much organised.
All funny stories from my family were always connected to Bauer part of my family. This may be considered as an exception, but I do not think that exceptions only confirm the rules.

how to make the services like Amazon not so bad?

to write in a blog about it so that millions of people read about it.
now nothing can help but the power of mass. unfortunately now not always the power of one kind person help.

moreover we all know that money is not the most important, but time!!!
so, is it all fake, what is written kindly in Amazon?
https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=202000770

Observation #1 «Time and memory»
I found that we know each other with my music teacher for 20 years already. 20 years! At that time I was as small as the girl in the foto. After 30 years people change a lot. People grow, get lost, find something, loose something, forget something. If people forget each other, they can meet each other as new people.
«Tак долго вместе прожили, что вновь
второе января пришлось на вторник,
что удивленно поднятая бровь,
как со стекла автомобиля — дворник,
с лица сгоняла смутную печаль,
незамутненной оставляя даль.»
I.Brodsky

Observation #2 «Charity Network»
How people are working in charity funds looks like spreading mechnisms in the networks:
if some fund cannot help a person, they spread the request further until the target is reached.

Remember that once in the child I wrote some kind of «epitaphy».
Back then I wanted to leave all my books and copybooks with some «scientific findings» to my parents and best friends. Now when I am leaving one city to another I try to give away all things I have so that I can diffuse myself in this place and so that my friends still have an atom of «me» from these small symbolic things…

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